Belt to Ass Thursdays: Commanders vs. Packers
Let’s call it what it was: a Thursday Night Football ass beating. The Packers handled business, and I sat here for four hours watching the Commanders embarrass me after I picked them. I regret everything. Packers fans—congrats, you win.
The worst part? I had high expectations for Washington. Yes, it’s early in the season, but after what they did last year, I thought we’d see growth, momentum, confidence. Instead, I got dropped passes, injuries, and Jayden Daniels scrambling for his life.
Let me be clear though: Jayden isn’t a fraud. He had flashes, but this game was rough. The team as a whole is on fraud alert until further notice. When I see better, I’ll say it and stand on it.
First Half
Jayden Daniels was scrambling like his life depended on it and then just… falling down. Rating: 3.2/10 for the night overall.
At 12:31 in the second quarter, Jayden threw a dart right into #85’s hands and he dropped it. Meanwhile, Jordan Love is thriving. He can actually throw from the pocket. Watching him just made me more embarrassed about my pick.
Packers went up 14-0 with 7 minutes left in the second, and I sat there in despair begging the kicker to miss—he did not. Perfect kick. Love that for me. Not.
Then #91 on the Commanders got carted off. The entire team gathered around. It looked serious. That was the scariest moment of the half.
Amazon Prime threw in a “Rapid Recap” and honestly, the only highlight was rookie Tray Amos blocking a touchdown. Shoutout to him. Otherwise, it was rough.
Third Quarter
Score is 3-14 and Washington still looks lost. Jayden finally hit Zach Ertz for a big 31-yard gain, but the Packers defense? Locked. In. This is the defense I wish my Bengals had.
Micah Parsons was unstoppable. Sacked Jayden again on 3rd & 3—just pure “belt-to-ass” energy. Commanders then missed a 50-yard field goal after already missing two. Packers added another field goal to make it 17-3.
Deebo Samuel gave the Commanders a spark with some nice runs, and on 4th & inches, Austin Ekeler converted. For a second, I thought maybe, just maybe, Washington would fight back. But the quarter ended with them still down 3-17.
Fourth Quarter
Micah Parsons stayed bullying Jayden. But finally—finally—some life. Terry McLaurin with a clutch catch, Ertz again moving the chains, and then a touchdown for Zach Ertz. They cut it to 10-17.
But the Packers clapped back fast. Matthew Golden with a big run, Jordan Love looking sharp, and boom—touchdown Packers. Score: 23-10.
Washington had nothing left. Fourth downs, incomplete passes, punts. Packers even drilled a 56-yard field goal just to flex.
And to make matters worse: Ekeler got hurt. Jayden was limping. The Commanders looked physically and mentally beat up. Absolute chaos.
Deebo Samuel scored late to make it 27-18 after a 2-point conversion, but by then it was over. Packers closed it out with ease.
Final Score: Packers 27, Commanders 18
Takeaways
Jordan Love? I see it now.
Jayden Daniels? Not a fraud, but that was not it.
The team is on fraud alert until further notice.
Packers defense = locked in.
Commanders = injuries, drops, no rhythm. Dan Quinn has serious work to do.
Streaming every game on a different app is ridiculous. NFL, please chill.
And yes, I stayed up for all four hours taking notes. I deserve a medal.
