If I Go, It’ll Be on My Terms: The Rage, Control, and Fear Behind My Suicidal Thoughts

This isn’t about wanting to die. It’s about wanting control in a world that’s tried to take it from me too many times. These thoughts don’t come from weakness—they come from fear, rage, and the deep knowing that if anything ever happened to me, I’d want to be the one who decided how it ended. Not him. Not the system. Me.